It's OFFICIAL. I'm a real Hungary Girl!

Saturday, June 5, 2010:
After a long flight over the Atlantic, and only a small amount of trauma (shortly after arriving at Philly International we discovered our flight was cancelled to Dulles and we would miss our connecting flight to Vienna, but we got on a Lufthansa flight about 6 hours later to Frankfurt connecting to Vienna - whew....and after getting settled I discover my laptop and TJ's Wii have been stolen from our suitcase - the only one TSA checked, hmmmmm) - TJ and I finally landed in Vienna, Austria Sat afternoon. I collected our luggage, headed through the doors for the people who didn't have anything to declare to Customs, and immediately saw Eric waiting on the other side of the gates. Finally, together again as a family and ready to begin our Hungarian adventures!

Driving from Vienna to Papa was so nice. It was a beautiful sunny day and everything was lush and green, exactly how I pictured it. Eric pointed out the signs along the way so that when I begin driving I'd have a clue as to what they mean. Of course I was pretty tired since I don't sleep on airplanes (darn it) so my ability to absorb anything useful was fading quickly. It took about 1 1/2 hours to make the drive to Papa and our little temporary apartment. It was fun walking in the door and having Chip discover that I had come back to him. It's hard to know exactly how a dog preceives the world but I'm pretty sure he had given up that I would ever find them in this strange new place Eric had taken him to. He began whimpering and jumping on me, greeting me with all the joy he could express. Young children and dogs give the best greetings ever!

After unloading all our bags, we got back in the car (a borrowed one - ours is on a boat somewhere in the Atlantic. It's possible it won't be delivered til the end of August) and took a tour of Papa. I was excited, soaking in as much as my tired brain would allow. The houses close to downtown are all either attached to each other or very close with small plots of land behind as their only yards. There is only a narrow walkway between the street and the front of these houses. Most have red tile roofs and the stucco walls are often a plain tan or grey, although some are painted with bright colors that contrast sharply with the houses close by. Many of the houses and building have decorative white medallions that seem very european to me. We drive past many of Eric's top choices of places to live (he's met with the translator and realtors twice before I arrived) and I find myself wondering with each house he points out, "Will this be my new home. my new neighborhood, my new life?" I find myself anticipating Monday's arrival when I can go inside each one and see for myself the pro's and cons of each area. But I find that exhaustion is quickly overtaking me and am barely able to stay awake through my first Hungarian dinner in my first Hungarian restaurant. I order the Paprika Chicken as this is a specialty here. It's excellent but I am more tired than hungry and I end up taking much of it back to our apartment. It's time for bed! We get TJ tucked into his little fold out bed in the livingroom, settle Chip at the foot of our bed and I fall into a dreamless sleep.

Sunday, June 6th, 2010:
I woke up on the fold out chair that is intended to be TJ's bed. He woke up disoriented and a bit scared around 11 PM and crawled into bed with us. It quickly became apparent to me that if I wanted a decent night sleep with no interruptions it would be best to leave the little boy curled next to his sleeping father and sleep on TJ's bed. Not the most comfortable nights sleep but exhaustion has a way of minimizing discomfort. I was still in a bit of a fog so the first order of business was to make myself a cup of coffee. One of the many adjustments to life in Hungary is to the food and drinks that are available to us in lieu of what we are accustom to. Coffee is one of them. Since we have no coffee maker Eric picked up some instant coffee. I'm not a fan - however I decided the moment we got this assignment that I will make all the necessary adjustments with as good of an attitude as possible. So I heat my cup of water in the microwave (that alone took me about 5 minutes to figure out), add too much coffee (certainly this is one reason I wasn't such a fan), add the sugar we picked up night before (thank heavens it really is sugar - I was making my best guess as there was no english on the packaging), powder creamer and a bit of hot chocolate mix I had brought along. Hmmmm, this process was going to take some adjustments and a lot of getting used to, but the caffeine was a definite plus in getting me started for the day. A shower helped me feel like a real girl and by early afternoon I was ready for our walk into town.

Our apartment is pretty close to the center of town. It took about 20 minutes to get to the center of things. It's very different to walk in an area than to drive it. Everything feels more real, you get the smells and the sounds that a car insulates you from. Walking next to the buildings it was apparent to see how old they were - most of them had been standing for hundreds of years. The area the apartment is in is a bit run down. There are more gypsies here, although you find them all over Papa. Many of the gates and buildings are in need of repair and sprucing up, although like anywhere you will find nicely maintained places sprinkled amongst the shabbier ones. As we walk we pass couples walking together, women on bicycles, children playing. I quickly learn it isn't a Hungarian practice to smile and greet strangers that you pass. The people here are reserved, careful, making only the briefest eye contact (if any) as they pass. In the beginning I would smile and nod, using my minimal Hungarian in greeting. The startled almost panicked looks I got in return or the way I was pointedly ignored taught me my first lesson in my new culture. 1) Don't frighten the locals with my western friendliness! I find myself wondering in what other ways I will be changed by living here.

It's quiet on the streets of Papa. It's Sunday afternoon and with the exception of a few restaurants and ice cream shops, everything is closed. I am thrown back to my childhood when Sunday was a day for families and church and little else. I am surprised at how big my new town is. I had been under the impression that it was small with little commerce. I am charmed by the walking paths through the shops, the magnificent old buildings with the amazing architecture, the beautiful statues sprinkled through the town. Apparently Papa was in it's glory back in the 1700's and the building reflect this. I wish I read Hungarian so I could understand the historical markers and know what kinds of businesses we passed by. Some are easy to decipher, some have pictures and some have the english version of the word included on their signs. But most of it's a mystery, and I'm impatient to know everything at once! It's a warm day and the walking is making TJ tired, so we find a little shop that sells gelato (the most amazingly creamy ice cream ever made) and with the help of gestures and a few shared words in Hungarian and English, we manage to order three cones with the flavors of our choice. As soon as we start eating I realize we will be back to try more of the flavors. Delicious! We walk to the park and fall in love with the massive tree lined paths that wind through the expanse of lush green grass. We spot the playground and TJ runs eargerly ahead to play, only to be stopped short by the pools of water at the base over all the play equipment except the swings. They have had a record breaking winter snowfall followed by a record breaking rainy spring and all the low lying areas are saturated and have standing water. It's clear we will need mosquito repellant throughout the summer here. TJ is happy to swing for as long as Eric and I are willing to swat the biting little insects from our arms and legs. When we've had enough we start the long (for our tired little 6 yr old) walk back to our apartment. It's good to be home, which truely is where our hearts and family is!

Dinner is chicken and veggies grilled outside. It's the first time Eric has used this grill, which the flames are set too close to the grill top so our asparagus and potaoes are pretty well blackened by the time the chicken is done, but it all tastes great regardless. We are eating outside so when the couple that lives next door, fellow americans with the HAW (Heavy Airlift Wing) spots us they come through the gate to say hello. Summer and Brentdon (hmmm, did I get his name right? I'll have to ask next time we meet) and their little 3 yr old girl and 2 yr old boy. TJ is thrilled to have children to play with and they quickly join him on the trampoline. It's nice to talk in english and to be able to ask some of the many questions that I have about things here. When it's time for them to leave, TJ sadly says goodbye and desperately tells us to get his new friends phone number! I thought it would be a few more years before he was asking girls for that, but considering the circumstances I guess it makes sense. He's unwilling to allow any potential friends slip through his fingers.

Monday, June 7, 2010
Eric wakes me to say goodbye as he leaves for work. It was a long night with TJ waking several times and Chip getting pretty sick. I even woke Eric at one point to help me get the dog outside as he was too disoriented to do anything but stand with his head down, legs splayed wide and shaking. I ended up sleeping on the couch so I could reassure TJ each time he woke and get him settled back to sleep as well as keep an eye on Chip and help him each time he stood on trembling legs, eyes wide and frightened and looking to me for help. Tired, faced with a sick dog and no idea how to get in touch with a vet or knowing how to get to one even if we got a phone number, I suddenly feel a bit overwhelmed by the knowlege that I have NO knowlege of this new and strange country. I don't speak the language, I don't have a car, and when I do I don't know my way to any place let alone how to get back here once I get anywhere. I don't have a single phone number of another person in Hungary with the exception of my husband sound asleep in the other room. A man who has only slightly more information than I do. I have to fight down the panic that is invading me - what do I do when my child gets sick, especially when Eric is gone for several days or longer on a trip, and I have no car? What have I done, agreeing to come here and taking my child and dog so far from everything familar and safe and accessable?!? What felt like a wonderful adventure has instantly become what feels like a stupid crazy idea. I allow myself to feel the panic for about 5 minutes, and then I force myself to breathe and put things in perspective. The morning will come, each day I will learn more about the area, I will reach out and make contacts and get the necessary phone numbers, and we will be fine. People have lived here for hundreds of years, raised families, survived sickness and emergencies - we will too. I also remind myself I am a competant mother who has raised 3 children to adulthood as well as countless dogs, cats and other animals. I can handle emergencies. And I'm not alone. There is a support group here waiting for me to reach out and meet them. Finally I fall back asleep, and thankfully both TJ and Chip manage to sleep as well.

Eric returns from work around noon and we wait for our translator to come get us to look at houses to rent. I'm familar with the outside of all but the 2nd house we see, since Eric had driven me around to look at them and to tell me about each one. I have looked online before moving here so I am expecting the home we live in to be very Hungarian - attached to the homes on either side, small yard in the back, rooms without closets and small old fashioned kitchens. I know these homes are going to be old because I had already decided I wasn't interested in the new american style homes that were being built specifically for this NATO mission and the families that will be moving here. First of all, the new homes are on the outskirts of town with dirt roads (a nightmare in the winter or rainy periods). We want to live within walking distance if possible to the town and TJ's school. Also, the new homes are only 3 bedrooms and we are really wanting 4 so we have enough space for all of Eric's guitars (yes, this is a priority) as well as for the company we hope will visit, and dedicated space for Eric's mom, Patty. We anticipate she will be here as often and for as long as she can since we have taken her only grandchild to a foreign country so far away from Idaho! I'm not even interested in looking at a 3 bedroom house. We look at the first place, which is close to town. 4 bedrooms, older but with some recent renovations and a dirt cellar that is 200 years old. This cellar has brick walls and a packed dirt floor and it's a combination of creepy and cool and would make a great place to store veggies, cheese and wine but also dead bodies and I can't help but get a small shiver. I like the rest of the house and it's still on the list of potential homes. Throughout this day I find myself wanting to commit to renting many of these places simply based on the sweet older couples that are showing us their properties. There isn't a lot of money to be made in this area, but with the influx of foreigners coming to work at the air base the last 2 years and with more soon to come, renting homes has become a real boon to the area. Most of the ones we look at are currently occupied by the owners who are willing to renovate to our specifications however is reasonable, then they would move to another cheaper rental themselves. I want to help them all, the sweet retired ones who would benefit so much by the money they could make on renting to us! I have to stay focused on what is best for our family. We go look at the next one.

Eric tells me as we get there it only has 3 bedrooms but is very nice, newley renovated and it has a single garage in front which could easliy be his 'man room' as well as a detached 2 car garage in the back for the car and Harley. As soon as we pull up I feel like I've come home. Although it is a bit further from downtown and TJ's school than I wanted to be, it is in a neighborhood that feels perfect for a young boy to grow up in. The homes here are free standing, they each have gates to the front door as well as one for the driveway, and front porches with cool looking balconies above. This home in particular is charming, with beautiful rose bushes in front, grape vines neatly growing long the side of the back yard, a beautifully maintained yard and house. We walked in to find a spacious living area, a kitchen that was larger than most (I stopped comparing to american kitchens before I ever arrived after my internet searches), a large pantry and plenty of storage by Hungarian standards. The upstairs opens to a small common area with a small bedroom and bathroom off to the left, 2 small bedrooms to the right and a small sunroom straight ahead. Everything is painted a buttery yellow with the exception of the peach colored livingroom (I can live with it for 2 years) and a 2 toned bright orange bedroom (the largest so it would be ours - a color I could NOT live with for 2 years, but they said they would paint for us). The 2 bedrooms to the right each have a doorway onto the small balcony overlooking the street. Nice. I have our interpretor ask the homeowner if there are children close by that are TJ's age. She said none on that street but many close by. It looks like a good neighborhood for him and I begin looking closely to see if this would make a good home for us. We went out the back door onto a covered porch and into the beautiful back yard. This is a home I would happily retire in, let alone spend the 2 short years we have here. The garage in the back has room for my car, Eric's bike and much more. There's even a cement firepit in the back. I smile at Eric and tell him we should look at the other places just to rule them out, but I had pretty well made my choice. I could be happy raising TJ in this house, in this neighborhood. We go look at the others, including Eric's top pick. I can see why he likes it - it has lots of rooms, a full basement, not especially nice but cool and with potential. And the most important thing is it's very close to downtown, something we both really wanted. Living close to town made everything so much more convenient - walking to TJ's school, to the shops, to the gym and the muli-culture family center would be a breeze, making our one car family situation so much easier. But the small unkempt backyard, the unfriendly feeling neighborhood, not to mention my little guys constant reminder that "the other house is still our number one, right mom?" had me trying to find a way to tell Eric that this one wouldn't be our house while we lived here. He could see it in my eyes but he was still hopeful he could convince me. I'll be honest, if he couldn't be happy in the other place and only wanted to live in this one I would have found a way to make it work and loved all the good things about it. But since he liked them both the decision was pretty well made. We made a list of things we would ask the landlord to fix or install and agreed to tell our interpetor to work with the realtor on securing our new home. I'm already picturing ourselves there and in my mind it feels perfect!

Later we took our borrowed car to get filled up (oh heavens, gas is expensive here) and washed as would be returning it the next day. We go out to eat (it's often cheaper to buy dinner for the three of us at a restaurant than to purchase the food at the store - I'm not complaining!) and have a delicious meal. TJ discovers that he loves cordon bleu, I have a veal paprika goulash that is to die for, and Eric has some beef dish with 4 different sauces and a little heat - yummy! A few things got lost in translation - I ordered a side of steamed veggies by pointing to what I wanted on the menu, and instead they replaced my noodles with steamed rice, no big deal as it was still delicious, and when we ordered our drinks we asked for 7Up for TJ and Canada Dry for Eric and I, yet we all got 7Up. It made us laugh and we just went with it.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Finally, I sleep all night with my husband in our bed and I wake up feeling alert and not as though I was drugged in the middle of the night. Chip is back to his old self and miracle or miracles, TJ sleeps through Eric getting ready for work and his kiss goodbye as well as me making coffee (I'm actually aquiring a taste for the instant concoction I have refined) and starting my morning. I relish a little quiet time to just putter and check my email. Just as TJ is waking up I get a call from Eric telling me our first small first shipment of stuff is scheduled to arrive in a few hours. I can't remember everything we thought we would need right away (the rest of our stuff won't arrive for at least another month) so it's kind of like Christmas. TJ and I discuss what might be arriving and what we hope will be in those three boxes. The truck comes at 9 AM sharp and I make room in the kitchen for our stuff to be brought in. There are three large boxes, each banded with metal and our name written across them. Once inside, the metal bands are cut, I am handed an inventory of our stuff. As I glance though it I remember what was shipped and find myself thinking, "Is this stuff really what we considered most important to get first? Seriously?" Brown paper wrapped packages with numbered stickers are pulled out and I check off each number on my list with the contents of that package listed on a line. It's a 10 min process, I sign the paperwork and soon TJ and I are left with piles of brown wrapped packages and wondering which to open and which to leave wrapped. We could be moving in a few days and the more we leave wrapped the easier our move. About this time TJ is hungry again and I suddenly know exactly which one to open first - the box with the peanut butter in it!

We knew feeding our very particular 6 year old was going to be a challenge in a foreign country where most of the foods he preferred were NOT going to be available. I had gotten advice from many people who came here a year or so before us about what you can't get here - peanut butter topping the list. And since this is currently a staple for TJ, I knew we better get a pretty good supply of it and ship it to ourselves. Our first night here began with an issue about food, or rather, milk. Note to all parents: do not use the word different when describing new food or drinks to a 6 yr old in a place you will be living for several years. Eric made the mistake of telling TJ that the milk we got here comes in a box and tastes different but is ok. The only word TJ heard was 'different', and it lit up in his brain in neon flashing lights! He refused to taste it, look at it or touch it in any way. I knew that this was something we had to nip in the bud immediately, a battle I was unwilling to allow him to win. After all, he loves milk more than peanut butter and I wasn't going to spend the next 2 years listening to him whine about needing american milk! It might seem harsh, but I told him he had to at least taste the milk. I drank it in front of him (I was surprised that it actually tasted good - I was prepared to put on an act) and asked him to try it. He refused. I said ok but told him he didn't get to eat or drink anything else until he at least tried it. He dug in his heels, sat on the couch and pouted. This is a very stubborn child. Long story short, he spent time on our bed with the door shut, crying loudly, until he was finally willing to give it a try. Watching him you would have thought we were forcing him to drink poison. I wish I had been video taping it as he slowly and painfully sipped a small amount of milk. Suddenly his tear streaked face got a sheepish look as he said, "mmmm, it's good. Can I have some more?" This was an important bridge to cross as he will have so many new things he needs to try if he's going to eat between now and the time he turns 8. It was this incident that gave him the courage to try the cordon bleu - and love it! But even so, sitting down with a peanut butter and honey sandwhich was a particularly comforting moment for him. Of all the things that came in those three boxes today, peanut butter was the most valuable!